One thing my husband and I have seen over and over is the blockage that unforgiveness causes.
Unforgiveness causes us to look backwards instead of forward. When we do that the past colors our present because we’re dragging it along like a big weight. It slows us down, trips us up and keeps us from walking into all that God has for us.
One of the lies the enemy tells is that if we forgive, then the person who wronged us got away with it. Not True! When we forgive, we take ourselves out-of-the-way, which allows God to begin working in that person’s life. The Bible says to pray for those who persecute us (Mat 5:44), bless those who curse us (Rom 12:14), and do good to our enemies (Luke 6:27). Forgiving is hard when we’re angry, but these things are actually for our well-being.
Healing is a process that can take time, but forgiveness is the first step. Choosing not to forgive is choosing not to heal.
I’ve often thought of offense as a net that captures two. The person who caused the offense caused it for a reason. If they were really ok, would they have done that? Then, if the person they did it to becomes trapped in unforgiveness, the enemy has really captured two people.
When I talk about forgiveness, I share what I learned when it was a problem in my life.
Every time you think of the offense, hold your hands up to heaven and tell God you choose to forgive that person for what they did. Then put them into God’s hands, telling Him they are His burden, and not yours. Turn your hands over, letting that person drop into God’s hands. If you need to, tell God how upset you are about what happened, and ask him to help you. God doesn’t want you to stuff your feelings. He already knows you’re feeling them, so you might as well talk to Him about it.
Don’t be surprised if at first you are inundated with more thoughts about that person! The enemy’s trap is unforgiveness, and he doesn’t want to let go easily. Lift up your hands to heaven again, forgive that person, bless them, and thank the Lord that He is working in that person’s life. If you have to do this several times a day, then do it. Anytime the offense comes to your mind, do it again. The thoughts will become less and less, and the healing can begin.
Forgiveness is a choice that brings healing. Will you choose to forgive and heal, or will you choose to stay in your pain?