I wanted to be a librarian. Little did I know the books I loved were a means of hiding; I could escape into different worlds and not deal with my own life. If I had done what I wanted, I’d still be hiding.
I had enough credits from community college to transfer to a university. Although this was an exciting time, when I prayed, my thoughts were of Bible College.
My first reaction was to dismiss those thoughts, because I was comfortable. Besides, I thought, how would I explain why I suddenly dropped something I’d worked so hard for, to do something completely different?
But it kept coming up.
I put it off a little longer.
It came up again.
Finally one day I said, “God, if you really want me to go to Bible College, show me where you want me to go.”
The next day, on my way home from a breakfast date with my husband, I looked over at just the right time to see a Bible College tucked away in the back of a business park. There were no signs on the street, and I had never noticed it before. When I got home I did some research on the college, then approached my husband and told him what I was feeling. He agreed I should go.
I struggled with the decision for a few more days. Meanwhile, a most unlikely person came to my house, sat on my couch and talked about how great Bible College was.
Classes hadn’t started at the university yet, and I still had time to apply to Bible College. I sent in my application, an interview was scheduled and I was accepted.
I pulled up the registration page of the university and looked at the classes I was to start in just a few days. It was time to hit the drop class button. I sat there, with my finger on that button, my heart pounding. This was it. I was deciding to give up my own plans and pick up God’s plans. Finally, with a deep breath, I pushed the button and notified the university I would not be attending.
A few weeks later I started my first year of Bible College. I discovered this was the same school several members of my husband’s family had gone to. The college had just recently moved to that business park from a major city about an hour away.
Things have never been the same. God led me to grow in ways I didn’t know I could. He led me in a process of healing from the things I had been hiding from. He’s given me the privilege of taking part in other people’s healing and restoration. I look back at all He’s done in my life and I am so thankful. He took a girl who was hiding from the world, and made her into a woman who is a leader in her church.
What if I hadn’t listened? What if I had gone my own way? I would have missed it all.
I thank God He didn’t let it go; He kept nudging me.
Is God nudging you? Are you hiding? It’s Ok to come out. He wants to set you free.
© Carolyn Rice 2012